And that has stuck with me all day today and put a smile in my heart — He (Astar) WANTS to be with ME =)

He’s getting to where he acts like he wants to leave and the quickly changes his mind.  It’s so fun to watch!

– If there hadn’t been a fence, I believe he would have continue walking straight up to where I was on the porch. –

My mom says to me “I think Astar wants you to come play with him”… to which I responded “I believe you are right! Oh my gosh!”  So I went inside and grabbed my boots and came back out – Astar is still standing in the same spot, waiting.  “oh, I’ll grab a cookie,” I thought and in I went back into the house to grab a treat for him and when I came out…. still standing waiting for me.  He hadn’t budged an inch!

I walk out to the gate and he greets me there with open arms!  He was ready to play!  I gave him a pet and we walked to the round pen.  His energy was one of eagerness and pure joy… he really wanted to be with ME!

We played for a bit and I even got him to pick up his foot for a few seconds.  I even gave him some hugs and we just hung out.  At a good stopping point, we walked out of the round pen and I melted my way out the gate.  He watched me leave and even walked back over to the pen as if to say “Are you sure we can’t play some more?”

What a HUGE blessing and what a great reward for such a long wait….7 years!  It was soooo worth it!!   What a day!

So today was quite a victory with Astar! We made some good progress with getting him to just want to be with us.

Jen brought her horse, Tres in with her and played a gentle catching game with him.  Tres and Astar got along beautifully.  Tres was a perfect match for Astar really helping him through some stuff.

The exercise started: I walked around IN the pen and Jen rode Tres on the OUTSIDE of the pen.  The idea was simply to get Astar to stick with us.  He finally did…. after running around for quite some time.  At one point we switched and I came on the outside and she came in the pen with Tres.

One  of our goals was to be able to walk with him, my hand on his withers / for him to stick with us — when we first went in the round pen with him he was not at all interested… and after 2-1/2 hours and help from Tres — we got it!  At first, once I was able to walk with him with my hand on him, I set a goal in my head of being able to walk 1 whole time around — and then we just kept on walking and I stopped counting.  It was beautiful!

Thank you Jen!!

I wish I had video!

So then came Astar — we ARE making progress and Jen assures me that we’re doing great.  I don’t feel so great.  She must have sensed that I might have felt a little discouraged today because she told me several times “don’t be discouraged… we are making progress…”

We attempted putting the halter on and you could see the panic set in.  We almost had it, but I got all tangled up in the strings of the halter, fumbled around and never made it over his nose.  He decided it wasn’t for him.  Since he decided he was going to be upset about it, we made him work by applying more pressure.  By that I mean, we made him trot around in circles [for those of you who do not know, the round pen is the circle I speak of] – if he is going to not be with us then he’s going to work.  The idea is that the pleasant, nice, calm place to be us with us and the place he has to work is when he’s not with us…. the idea is to teach him we’re cool to hang out with.   You get the idea.

Well, he had made up his mind that he was upset for most of the time so he worked.  He also decided that his left side was not where he wanted us — that’s his left confident side.   Finally after about an hour or so (I don’t really know b/c I don’t have a watch) he finally changed his mind and decided to no longer be upset.   We never got the halter on which kind of discouraged me, but Jen reminded me that everything we’re doing is still progress and that we’re teaching him every step of the way that being with people is a good thing.   We ended with hanging out by the rail eating cookies – after he relaxed and made the decision to be with us.

That’s pretty much where we left it… on a good note.

My homework is to work on building his confidence on his left side and keep working with getting the halter on his face.  I know we’re going to get there.  I just have to be patient.

Thank you Jen for continuing to encourage me — you are wonderful!

When I was in 12th grade, I had an english teacher that everyone, including me, thought was the hardest teacher in school…. and she was for a reason.  Her name was Mrs. Bell.   She had given an assignment to write a paper and I did the assignment exactly as I was asked to do it, turned it in on time and sat back in my seat.  A little later she called me up and handed me tha paper back saying “this is not good enough. do it over.”  Oooh!  I was sooo mad.  I had worked hard on that paper and I had done a good job, or so I thought and she had the nerve to ask me to do it over.  I could not believe it!  But I had no choice, I re-wrote the paper.  (I honestly couldn’t tell you what the paper was on).  I ended up with an “A” on it and she was much more pleased with the 2nd paper than the first.

When I got to college, and had my first writing assignments, I was so glad she had pushed me as hard as she had….I was so much more equiped to handle college and that level of work.  I was so grateful that I went back to my old high school and thanked her for the way she didn’t let up on me.

That teacher gave me the feedback I needed to succeed, to do better, to be a better writer, to push beyond mediocraty… to see I was capable of much more than what I was handed.

Now, let’s step forward 17 years and here I am a business owner and a graphic artist.   I rely on my client’s feedback to give them what they want and when they do not give me feedback, I can’t deliver in a way that will make them very happy.  I can almost guarantee it.  The people that are probably the happiest are those that have given the feedback necessary about the direction they would like to head on their project.  These are the people that have driven me to be a better artist…. and I appreciate every single one of them for their honesty and openness during the process.  I wish everyone could be that honest and open.

No… our feelings will not get hurt.  Well, OK, some things are a little hard to swallow – but aren’t the hardest things to take the things we need to hear the most?  Is it better to be honest with a person and say what is really on your mind or save their feelings and hold back?  Is it better to let that person hurt in order that they grow or protect them and ultimately keep them from growing into what they could if you let them hurt a little?  It’s kind of like pruning a tree — it probably hurts the tree just a bit, but then what happens – the tree flourishes!  That’s how I feel — don’t spare my feelings, don’t walk on egg shells, don’t tell me what you THINK I want to hear to ‘protect’ me.  Instead, tell me like it is — I might not like you for a day – but I guarantee one thing — you will probably make me think, and that hurt will drive me to change something and grow.  It has happened throughout my life that way.

And one more thing — don’t tell me you think I can’t do something — I will prove to you I CAN — telling me I can’t are fighting words a considered a challenge issued.   I am not one to back down from challenges, I will drive right into them full force…. I’ll show you!  Just like when a design professor said “go re-do that project — you can do better” – I went home and redid the design project with a vengence…LOL… “I’ll show him” I thought to myself that night.  What I cam up with got me such accolades that it was in the Student Show that year!

Maybe this is why I believe so much in my horse — everyone who has owned him before me told him “he can’t” and “he’ll never…” – I look at him with his beautiful eyes and playful demeanor and say “I believe in you… I believe in who you are now and who you can be and that together we can be great!”  After 7 years, I haven’t given up that hope that he will be great and I’m driving head on (very slowly) into that challenge… because the rewards are going to be fantastic!

So ask that of my friends and family — don’t give up on me, don’t throw in the towel, don’t try to “protect” my feelings and don’t think I can’t.  Be honest and open, tell me what God has on your heart to share with me and I will experience the fruits that God has for me and grow.

So Andy and I went out with the goal to repeat the dance and get it on video so we could share our success.  The only goal of what I was doing with him is to get him to stay with me… stay connected.  You will see I kind of lost him toward the end, but overall he stayed with me.  (By the way, you’ll also hear the commentary from Andy as he tried to video with FanciPants [our other youngin'] as “director”)

I’m also posting videos of some of the other work we did yesterday… we played the friendly game again and he’s given us almost 100% permission to be in his Zone 2 – his neck area.  He still prefers his right side to his left side (this is mainly due to the fact that when he was beaten [by former owners] it always came from the left.  So naturally he doesn’t like people being on his left side.  That’s ok…. we will work up to that.

The friendly game – this is basically a game we play with the horse to get him used to the stuff we’re carrying, like the lead rope, the halter and the  carrot stick string, almost as if they are just extensions of ourselves…. they mean nothing at this point.  It is kind of a desensitization thing for the horse.  Today I was able to swing the string in front of me and still have him come to me.  He wanted to be with me more than going away… it doesn’t seem like much to most, but this takes A LOT of effort on his part so this is real progress…

I think Jen is going to be pleased with our progress with she is here again on Tuesday!  I am excited to show her what we’ve been doing and to learn what direction we need to go in next.

I was determined that today I would have time / make time to work with my horse.  After shopping the Black Friday sales and going to get another hay roll for the horses, we were finally home and I went out to see if Astar would spend time with me.

Even with a brand new hay roll, he was still interested!  As soon as I walked in the gate, he lifted his nose out of the fresh hay roll and looked at me, he asked me the question — do you want to hang out?  I said, of course! and walked over to join up with him.  We then walked into the round pen together… WOW! That was easy!

So as of today, it has been 2 consistent weeks that he has decided within less than 10 minutes he wants to spend time with us rather than doing whatever he was doing at the time…. that is awesome!  We’re getting back to where we were a year ago and he’s starting to remember the good times we’ve had.

With all of that said, my favorite part of today’s time with Astar is that I danced with my horse!  It was so wonderful and I could almost feel him smiling as much as I was.  He was totally with me!  What do I mean by dancing?  Well, I was walking in tight circles like a figure eight and then moving back and forth… and he was coming right along with me….It was so magical that I’m going to see if I can video it!!

I love Astar… then again, I always have!

It POURED rain for 2 days straight!  So other than feeding in the round corral and walking him in and out of there, not much training really took place and not much time was spent with Astar.

Then it was Thanksgiving and we were on the road traveling all day… so another day off, except for feeding times…. though we’re still making progress.  Andy was able to put the rope over his nose on Thanksgiving night without Astar making a fuss!